McDonald’s

  • I had McDonald’s today because I was in a hurry, but I feel like shit now.  McDonald’s is like Tequila it seems like a good idea at the time but chances are you will end up regretting it.
  • My local McDonald’s last year had a sign that said, “Open Christmas Drive-Thru Only” and I wondered how pathetic it would be to have McDonald’s on Christmas.  Then I thought, what if you didn’t have a car and wanted McDonald’s …
Advertisements

Historic ASS:  In Flander’s Field

  • CTV News posted the poem on Remembrance Day.

Stink ASS:  Montreal Raw Sewage Dump

  • Canada Environment Minister Catherine McKenna said the situation “less than ideal” but the best solution to the city’s waste water crisis.
  • Former Conservative environment minister Leona Aglukkaq suspended the project to order an independent scientific review.  The results stated it would have limited impact on fish reproduction if done before the winter and monitored properly.

My Thoughts:  Hopefully there is a full post mortem to figure out how it got to this state and why aren’t we investigating sewage into fuel technology.

Up Your ASS:  Granny Hides Drugs Up Her .. Vagina

  • There is a story out of Spain 73-year-old woman drugs in little plastic kinder-egg shells for her son who was in prison.
  • That’s one hell of a kinder surprise …
  • My fav line from the article, “When she realized she was going to be frisked, she popped out the package.”
  • I mean, how do you convince your 73-year-old mom to do this?  Because I’m highly doubtful that she would offer this in the first place.  I’m not even sure I can say vagina to my motmma without giggling like a school girl.  Yet alone ask her to stuff ‘things’ up there.
  • “Hey ma, look I loved the scarf you knitted me last Christmas was awesome.  Oh the boys in the prison yard love it.  What colour was it periwinkle?  Anyways, I was wondering if you could do me a favour.  Do you mind stuffing some coke,  heroin and if you don’t mind some tranquilizers in some kinder eggs and then you know shove them up your vagina?”
  • This isn’t the first time Kinder eggs have been part of a smuggling ring

Awesome ASS:  Alex Thorne Retires from CPO at Age 13

  • Just over two years ago Alex Thorne was hired by Toy’s R Us as the Chief Play Officer (CPO) – a position created to promote play and provide the inside scoop on the hottest trends in the toy and gaming industry.
  • He has an awesome title and his own damn LinkedIn account – “As Chief Play Officer at Toys “R” Us Canada, I promote play and imagination and talk about the hottest trends in the toy and gaming industry to help parents and gift-givers across Canada.  It’s my job to know everything about toys and games so that I have the inside scoop!”
  • Alex turns 14 and will have to relinquish his title as CPO.

Vintage ASS:  Betamax Is Dead 

  • If you are the person that has a Betamax player than today is a sad day, I guess, but you probably had to have seen this coming.  Like 30 years ago.

ASSHole:  Robin Camp

  • Robin is a Federal Court judge who is under scrutiny for his conduct in 2014 rape case.
  • Mr. Camp asked the alleged victim; i. to keep her knees together ii.  told her to sink down so he couldn’t penetrate you.  Which I’m sure is helpful advice if you are getting sexually assaulted by someone.

Sexy ASS:  Two Lovers Shot to Death In Philly Park

  • Shakoor Arline (Tiger Woods look-a-like), 25, and Lisa Smith, 32 who allegedly were having an affair and shot to death in a crime of passion, according to Philadelphia police Captain.

SAD ASS: Daniel Fleetwood 

  • Daniel Fleetwood, thanks to social media, was able to watch  “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” which is to be released in Dec.
  • Fleetwood passed away at the age of 32, I believe from  spindle cell sarcoma (which sounds horrible) his wife stated, ‘is now one with God and with the force.”
  • Using social media they were able to persude Disney to grant Fleetwood his wish by retweeting #ForceForDaniel.  Among the celebrities were Mark Hamill & Carrie Fisher.
  • Jeopardy legend, Ken Jennings tweeted out, “It can’t be a good sign that every fan who has seen the new Star Wars movie died shortly thereafter.”  Goddamn timing Ken, timing …
  • So there’s this T-Shirt #ForceforDaniel for sale and the sales go to help with Daniel’s medical bills.

Up Your ASS:  Granny Hides Drugs Up Her .. Vagina

  • There is a story out of Spain 73-year-old woman drugs in little plastic kinder-egg shells for her son who was in prison.
  • That’s one hell of a kinder surprise …
  • My fav line from the article, “When she realized she was going to be frisked, she popped out the package.”
  • I mean, how do you convince your 73-year-old mom to do this?  Because I’m highly doubtful that she would offer this in the first place.  I’m not even sure I can say vagina to my motmma without giggling like a school girl.  Yet alone ask her to stuff ‘things’ up there.
  • “Hey ma, look I loved the scarf you knitted me last Christmas was awesome.  Oh the boys in the prison yard love it.  What colour was it periwinkle?  Anyways, I was wondering if you could do me a favour.  Do you mind stuffing some coke,  heroin and if you don’t mind some tranquilizers in some kinder eggs and then you know shove them up your vagina?”
  • This isn’t the first time Kinder eggs have been part of a smuggling ring

Steven Hawking

  • Does anyone else secretly hope that Hawking is a fraud?  Like, he’s not all that smart and he doesn’t need to be in the wheel chair …
  • And eventually he’ll be delivering pizza’s when Matt Dillon finds out and tells him to come clean or he’ll kick his ass.  Hawking then professes, ‘he loves her man!”
  • And it was all an elaborate plan to get with Cameron Diaz.

Dogs vs. Humans

  • Do you think dogs wonder how unintelligent humans are?  I mean, they learn what “sit”, “shake a paw” and “down” means but we never understand the difference between ‘bark’, ‘woof’ or ‘ruff’.

Peanuts Movie

  • I wanted to take kid to the Charlie Brown movie this weekend but I couldn’t because he’s allergic to Peanuts.

Bulk Barn

  • I love that Bulk Barn put Health food beside Nut.

BulkBarn

 

Mother of Katelynn Sampson Struggles to Shake Demons

  • Bernice Sampson was a crack addict.  I know the name doesn’t sound like a person who is addicted to crack, it sounds more like the name of an aunt who is really good at baking.
  • Like you would love Bernice’s homemade buns, but I doubt that applies in this case.
  • But trust me Bernice was a crack addict. and she wanted to provide a better life for her daughter.
  • So, Bernice  gave up her daughter to two friends who had children of her own.
  • Now with friends you typically have something in common.  Well, so did Bernice!  Her two friends were crack addicts.
  • You’re probably thinking.  Why would you give your daughter to people who also have an addiction?
  • Well, I don’t think that crack addicts make the best life choices …
  • And as you can imagine something terrible did happen.
  • In the article Bernice stated, “You think you can trust somebody, but you can’t trust nobody.  They were my friends. Friends eh? Evil friends. I couldn’t believe it, though, because they had kids of their own.”
  • I think you can trust people as long as they are NOT crack addicts.  I think that’s the key here.
  • The two ‘friends’ were Donna Irving and Warren Johnson who took in little Katelynn Sampson.
  • Now Irving & Johnson did not provide much magic for little Katelynn, they were provided custody back in May 2007 and it took less than 16 months to systematically kill an seven-year-old girl.
  • An autopsy said,  she died of septic shock and they found about 70 wounds across her body.
  • Septic shock does not sound like a great way to die, it is a complication of an infection where toxins can initiate a full-body inflammatory response.  Inflammation resulting from sepsis causes tiny blood clots to form, which can block oxygen and nutrients from reaching vital organs. As a result, the organs fail, causing a profound septic shock.
  • Every site that I have read states that this typically happens to elderly and/or people that have a weakened immune system.
  • This should not happen to healthy children.
  • So … this just in Donna Irving & Warren Johnson were not great people to entrust with the parental responsibilities of your child.
  • How could the system allow for this to happen?  The Ontario Court Justice Debra Paulseth signed off on the living arrangement two months before the death.
  • They signed off despite information that Irving had; convictions for drugs, prostitution, violence, told the Children’s Aid Society that she couldn’t care for Katelynn and wanted her out of her home, there was medical evidence that Katelynn had been through severe abuse.
  • They either ignored all of this or simply said, “ah …, we think you’ll do just fine!”   Then handed over custody of a human life to people that in all likelihood were already dead inside.
  • It is such a disturbing case, there was a book found with Katelynn’s blood, Irving wrote:  “Katelynn is the devil’s kid. Because she never listens. She smells bad because she never has a bath. Katelynn has died eyes, and a died soul, heart and brain.”
  • What is most heartbreaking is on a piece of paper Katelynn had written 62 times: “I am A awful girl that’s why no one wants me.”
  • She deserved to be loved, she deserved to be wanted, life had failed Katelynn.
Ready Reunion - 2017

Are You Ready?

The Anti-Social Sloth

ASS (for short) is perhaps the greatest site that does not have the words face or book in the domain name!

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.