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Random Thoughts

Steven Hawking

  • Does anyone else secretly hope that Hawking is a fraud?  Like, he’s not all that smart and he doesn’t need to be in the wheel chair …
  • And eventually he’ll be delivering pizza’s when Matt Dillon finds out and tells him to come clean or he’ll kick his ass.  Hawking then professes, ‘he loves her man!”
  • And it was all an elaborate plan to get with Cameron Diaz.

Dogs vs. Humans

  • Do you think dogs wonder how unintelligent humans are?  I mean, they learn what “sit”, “shake a paw” and “down” means but we never understand the difference between ‘bark’, ‘woof’ or ‘ruff’.

Peanuts Movie

  • I wanted to take kid to the Charlie Brown movie this weekend but I couldn’t because he’s allergic to Peanuts.

Bulk Barn

  • I love that Bulk Barn put Health food beside Nut.

BulkBarn

 

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I wonder how weird it much have been the first time when a man and woman got it on. Seriously, how did he convince her to put his Twinkie in her donut hole and together they made something magical! Their own Boston Cream.  I doubt God did a sexual education class!

What if God never intended for women to have vagina’s.  If God is like any guy I know, he completes the task to 90% and takes a break. Perhaps he was just finishing up making the woman and Mrs God was like what are you gonna do about that flesh wound between her legs. Then God was like listen I’ll deal with it tomorrow.

Then as God goes for a nap Adam says to Eve looking at her erogenous zone and says, “Hey, uh do you mind if I put it in there?”

Then from the Garden of Eden God starts hearing a womans voice, “Oh God! Oh God!” Then God checks in on what’s happening and yells, “Jesus Christ what are you doing?” Adam looks at Eve and says, “Who’s Jesus?” God intervenes and says, ‘you’ll found out in good time’. And that’s the story of love!

  • I feel like people over use the phrase, ‘safety is our top priority.’
  • My wife emailed the principle about a safety concern at the school.
  • The principle replied, with a well-thought out and respectful email, and also stated that Safety is the top priority.
  • Um, shouldn’t education be your top priority?
  • Safety should be high probably number two, but education should be the top priority.
  • How about educating them on safety?
  • But it seems that everyone says safety it a top priority.  Even if it isn’t
  • Dear Widow, we appreciate your concern.   Here in the diamond mine industry safety is our top concern.  That and of course the blood diamonds …
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