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Nursing Mother Battles Airline Over Breat Pump

  • Breastfeeding mother had an issue after plugging in her breast pump while onboard a flight.
  • The mother was initially refused to use onboard outlets because it was “against airline policy.”  Star passengers are prohibited from using outlets for anything other than cellphones and tablet devices due to concerns of voltage.
  • The young mom wanted to breast feed for as it was a long flight and also possible  health implications,  she had mastitis in the past.   If you currently enjoy womens breasts and would like to continue to enjoy womens breasts please don’t view Google’s mastitis images.
  • After back and forth where she stated it was her “medical right” to pump the airline allowed her to a plug, ironically, intended for vacuum cleaners.
  • She was stressed, emotionally exhausted shaken.
  • The mother said she looked into use of a hand pump before taking the trip but decided it wasn’t for her and it shouldn’t be up to the airline to decide how she should extract milk.  “It’s a matter of choice.”  It’s an interesting choice of words, because didn’t she have a ‘choice’ of airlines?
  • The passengers are told to use a hand pump or battery-powered device while onboard.  This is a regulation that other airlines adhere to as well.  In fact the Airlines website states, please note that your medical equipment must be equipped with an independent power source (i.e., battery-powered) should you wish to use it during your flight.

I would love to see a Hollywood movie about Mohammed Abad.  His story is one of giving a little, taking a little, and letting his poor heart break a little.

Mohammed Abad is a feel good story;

  • About a six year old boy who has a horrible accident.
  • Where he is run over by a car, the car drags him for 600 yards and then he loses his penis and a testicle.
  • Man gets married, doesn’t tell his wife about his condition, man gets divorced.

Then the magic starts!  Man get some nice people to develop an eight-inch pump and hump bionic penis.   A couple of months go by and Mohammed is thinking, ‘hey my penis is perfect.  I’m ready to test this baby out.”  Instead of testing it out on the amateur side , he says screw that, ‘I’m a professional!”

Then decides his first sexual exploration is Britain’s 2013 Sex Worker of the Year and TV star of ‘Love for Sale’.  Yes,  Charlotte Rae! Charlotte is so honoured that she’s going to do Mo’s first boner pro bono.

Charlotte stated, “We plan to have a dinner date so we can get to know each other and then two hours of private time. I’m not charging him.”

That my friends would be an Oscar winning tail detailing the story of, that’s the glory of love.

 

Up Your ASS:  Granny Hides Drugs Up Her .. Vagina

  • There is a story out of Spain 73-year-old woman drugs in little plastic kinder-egg shells for her son who was in prison.
  • That’s one hell of a kinder surprise …
  • My fav line from the article, “When she realized she was going to be frisked, she popped out the package.”
  • I mean, how do you convince your 73-year-old mom to do this?  Because I’m highly doubtful that she would offer this in the first place.  I’m not even sure I can say vagina to my motmma without giggling like a school girl.  Yet alone ask her to stuff ‘things’ up there.
  • “Hey ma, look I loved the scarf you knitted me last Christmas was awesome.  Oh the boys in the prison yard love it.  What colour was it periwinkle?  Anyways, I was wondering if you could do me a favour.  Do you mind stuffing some coke,  heroin and if you don’t mind some tranquilizers in some kinder eggs and then you know shove them up your vagina?”
  • This isn’t the first time Kinder eggs have been part of a smuggling ring

Steven Hawking

  • Does anyone else secretly hope that Hawking is a fraud?  Like, he’s not all that smart and he doesn’t need to be in the wheel chair …
  • And eventually he’ll be delivering pizza’s when Matt Dillon finds out and tells him to come clean or he’ll kick his ass.  Hawking then professes, ‘he loves her man!”
  • And it was all an elaborate plan to get with Cameron Diaz.

Dogs vs. Humans

  • Do you think dogs wonder how unintelligent humans are?  I mean, they learn what “sit”, “shake a paw” and “down” means but we never understand the difference between ‘bark’, ‘woof’ or ‘ruff’.

Peanuts Movie

  • I wanted to take kid to the Charlie Brown movie this weekend but I couldn’t because he’s allergic to Peanuts.

Bulk Barn

  • I love that Bulk Barn put Health food beside Nut.

BulkBarn

 

I wonder how weird it much have been the first time when a man and woman got it on. Seriously, how did he convince her to put his Twinkie in her donut hole and together they made something magical! Their own Boston Cream.  I doubt God did a sexual education class!

What if God never intended for women to have vagina’s.  If God is like any guy I know, he completes the task to 90% and takes a break. Perhaps he was just finishing up making the woman and Mrs God was like what are you gonna do about that flesh wound between her legs. Then God was like listen I’ll deal with it tomorrow.

Then as God goes for a nap Adam says to Eve looking at her erogenous zone and says, “Hey, uh do you mind if I put it in there?”

Then from the Garden of Eden God starts hearing a womans voice, “Oh God! Oh God!” Then God checks in on what’s happening and yells, “Jesus Christ what are you doing?” Adam looks at Eve and says, “Who’s Jesus?” God intervenes and says, ‘you’ll found out in good time’. And that’s the story of love!

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