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Monthly Archives: April 2015

Denmark bans bestiality in move against animal sex tourism

  • That is the actual headline from Yahoo News!
  • Denmark passed legislation on Tuesday banning bestiality.
  • The bill amends a previous ban on intercourse that harms animals, something Farm Minister Dan Jorgensen argued was difficult to prove.
  • Denmark did not want to remain the last northern European country where bestiality was legal, as this was attracting animal sex tourists.
  • There are frequent reports of the occurrence of organized animal sex shows, clubs and animal brothels in Denmark.
  • 2011 Justice Ministry report surveyed veterinarians and found 17 percent of them suspected that an animal they treated had had intercourse with a human.

My Thoughts;

  • In what world are bestiality and tourism even suppose to be in the same sentence.
  • I’ve thought of vacation get aways but never have I thought that perhaps lets go to Denmark so I can rape a few cows.  Moo means no people!
  • Who knew that animal brothels are a thing?  Next time I’m at the zoo I’m keeping an eye on the Dannish people.  Getting all hot and bothered.
  • There’s a one in 6 chance that an animal treated by a vet was sexually assaulted.  If I’m at the bar with my mate and he tells me he got some pussy last night there’s a pretty good chance he was talking about a Burmese instead of a ‘cougar’
  • Last night I had stuffed pork and there is a pretty good chance that someone in Denmark was stuffing a pork.  Remind me never to buy Dannish meat!

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship.  The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, “Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink.” They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.  The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, “Let’s swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore.” At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. “Look,” she said, “I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen.”

Man ‘Accidently’ Shoots Mother-In-Law After Shooting an Armadillo

The Details:

  • Larry McElroy of Lee County, Georgia, fired his pistol at an armadillo and the bullet ricocheted off its armour, hit a fence then smashed through the back door hitting her in the back.
  • Unfortunately, the poor animal died in the process, but his mother-in-law is set to make a full recovery.

Three Quick Thoughts

  1. First, the mother-in-law doesn’t even get any mention in the article.
  2. Second the story seems more concerned about the ‘poor’ animal that died, whereas his mother-in-law makes a full recovery.  Why didn’t you take the mother-in-law? Is this some cruel twisted joke God!
  3. Third, I love how they detailed the events of the shot.  It’s kinda like he meant to do it ala Jordan-vs-Bird with their McDonald’s commericals.  Off the armadillo, hit the fence through the back door nothing but mother-in-law!

Justin Bieber was kicked out of Coachella music festival.

  • According to the article Bieber was placed in chokehold and escorted out of the California festival.
  • Come on we Bielibed in you!
  • This less than a month after the Roast of Justin Bieber aired.  At the end of the Roast Bieber said, “I’m looking forward to being someone you can look at and be proud of.”
  • I’m not sure that getting kicked out of something called ‘Coachella’ meets that criteria of something people would be proud of.
  • What kind of name for a festival is Coachella?  It sounds like a strip joint for Disney princesses.  I think I’ve just come up with a brilliant idea!
  • My sources tell me that the bouncers that put him in the chokehold were named Gaston, Scar and Syndrome.
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