FINE ASS: Can’t Put My Nose On It

There was a story in the news this week about a baby in Mobile, Alabama was born without a nose.

From the CTV new article it stated;

“I pulled back and said, ‘Something’s wrong!,”‘ Brandi McGlathery told “And the doctor said, ‘No, he’s perfectly fine.’ Then I shouted, ‘He doesn’t have a nose!”‘  

Eli Thompson began breathing through his mouth right away on March 4 at a Mobile, Alabama, hospital, McGlathery said.

Listen, I’m not doctor but perhaps he should have been able to figure out that a major part of the human anatomy was missing.  I dunno maybe you went to school for it maybe you should catch these types of things.  It’s just unfortunate that the kid was born to a mother named Brandi from Mobile, Alabama.

I almost envision this to be like a SNL skit …

Nurse:  Here’s your baby?  <as nurse hands the baby>

Brandi (mom):  Somethings missing.

Doctor:  What are you talking about it’s a perfectly fine baby?

Brandi:   I can’t seem to put my nose on it.

Doctor: Listen, the baby’s got 10 fingers and 10 toes and a penis.  That’s always good.

Brandi: Ah-ha!  He’s missing a nose!

Doctor:  I su-NOSE your right.  See what I did there I switched suppose with suNOSE.  It’s a play on words and relevant seeing your kid doesn’t have a nose.  Why are you crying?  That’s a pretty good joke.  Huh, a rare miss.  On the plus side he does have a penis!  That’s always good.  Wait, how is he breathing?

Nurse:  Through his mouth, doctor.  We have two ways to consume oxygen!

Doctor:  I may have been drunk or hungover on the day that they talked about noses in Mobile Community College for Doctors.

Brandi:  What are we going to do?

Doctor:  Well I guess I will have to add nose to the check list for future reference.  10 fingers, 10 toes, check for a penis does it have a nose? Kinda sounds like a doctor Seuss rhyme.

Nurse:  He’s beautiful.  Um, what are you going to name him?

Doctor:  I gotta name.  How about Vladimir Morton?  You know … so you can call him Vladi-Mort.  Cause he kinda looks like Voldemort the guy from the movie that doesn’t have a nose.  I mean you can call him Mort for short.  I like Mort there’s a place called Mort’s pub has great subs.

Nurse:  Doctor, stop you are upsetting the family.  So about the name?

Brandi:  We were thinking Michael.

Doctor:  Perfect, because you can make his middle name Jackson and it’s a great reference because you know his nose fell off at the end.  Great choice!  <Brandi Crying>  What too soon?  He’s been dead for over 5 years now get over it.

Brandi:  We will name him Eli.  Can you please leave now?





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