There was a story in the news this week about a baby in Mobile, Alabama was born without a nose.
From the CTV new article it stated;
“I pulled back and said, ‘Something’s wrong!,”‘ Brandi McGlathery told Al.com. “And the doctor said, ‘No, he’s perfectly fine.’ Then I shouted, ‘He doesn’t have a nose!”‘
Eli Thompson began breathing through his mouth right away on March 4 at a Mobile, Alabama, hospital, McGlathery said.
Listen, I’m not doctor but perhaps he should have been able to figure out that a major part of the human anatomy was missing. I dunno maybe you went to school for it maybe you should catch these types of things. It’s just unfortunate that the kid was born to a mother named Brandi from Mobile, Alabama.
I almost envision this to be like a SNL skit …
Nurse: Here’s your baby? <as nurse hands the baby>
Brandi (mom): Somethings missing.
Doctor: What are you talking about it’s a perfectly fine baby?
Brandi: I can’t seem to put my nose on it.
Doctor: Listen, the baby’s got 10 fingers and 10 toes and a penis. That’s always good.
Brandi: Ah-ha! He’s missing a nose!
Doctor: I su-NOSE your right. See what I did there I switched suppose with suNOSE. It’s a play on words and relevant seeing your kid doesn’t have a nose. Why are you crying? That’s a pretty good joke. Huh, a rare miss. On the plus side he does have a penis! That’s always good. Wait, how is he breathing?
Nurse: Through his mouth, doctor. We have two ways to consume oxygen!
Doctor: I may have been drunk or hungover on the day that they talked about noses in Mobile Community College for Doctors.
Brandi: What are we going to do?
Doctor: Well I guess I will have to add nose to the check list for future reference. 10 fingers, 10 toes, check for a penis does it have a nose? Kinda sounds like a doctor Seuss rhyme.
Nurse: He’s beautiful. Um, what are you going to name him?
Doctor: I gotta name. How about Vladimir Morton? You know … so you can call him Vladi-Mort. Cause he kinda looks like Voldemort the guy from the movie that doesn’t have a nose. I mean you can call him Mort for short. I like Mort there’s a place called Mort’s pub has great subs.
Nurse: Doctor, stop you are upsetting the family. So about the name?
Brandi: We were thinking Michael.
Doctor: Perfect, because you can make his middle name Jackson and it’s a great reference because you know his nose fell off at the end. Great choice! <Brandi Crying> What too soon? He’s been dead for over 5 years now get over it.
Brandi: We will name him Eli. Can you please leave now?