FINE ASS: Anus Bronzing

  • This is what I learned this week.  Bronzing your anus is apparently a thing.  Who knew?
  • So anus bronzing, which kinda sounds like one of Hitler’s girlfriend, is when a person goes in, gets a mold of their anus and a couple of weeks later get a bronzed replica of their starfish.
  • It seems like something that you would see in 50 Shades of Grey or perhaps 50 Shades of Brown …  I don’t care if you laugh I did that one for myself.
  • In the video the girl get’s her anus bronzed by a creepy guy that kinda looks like a homeless Robert Herjavec.
  • Come to think of it this would be an awesome Shark Tank pitch.  For $100,000 you get 10% of my company as a throw in I’ll bronze all your anus’s.
  • Anyways back to the girl she says, “I don’t want to grow older and regret not getting my anus bronzed.”  I’m fairly certain those words have never been nor ever will be uttered on someone’s death bed.  Well maybe, Clint Eastwood he seems like the type.
  • Prior to the lady getting her brown up his comforting words are; “Strike it up!  Spread your cheeks and get comfortable.”  I’ll use that on the wife later tonight, just to see how it goes.
  • If it was me saying anus over and over again I’d be giggling like a school girl, but he’s dead serious.
  • Then he starts talking about the first time he did this, he waited til his wife and kids went away and got at er.
  • You would think it’s a weird ploy for him to get women to show him their ass, but his dream person is Patrick Moore.  Wait his dream person is an over-weight dead guy, he would love to bronze Patrick Moore’s dead anus.
  • I got nothing else …
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