FINE ASS: Person of The Year

Tomorrow Time will unveil it’s Person of The Year. Time magazine is considering giving the Ferguson protestors the award for PERSON of the year.  What I didn’t realize is that “Protesters” actually won already back in 2011.  I’m not sure they should be included in the few people that have won the award twice such as;  Winston Churchill, Harry S. Truman & Joseph Stalin.  Hitler must be kind of upset that he only won the award once versus Stalin a two time champion of the person of the year.  I’m sure they talk about that over coffee in hell.  But Satan hasn’t even won the award once.

Now a group of people have won the award before such as previously mentioned Protestors (Occupy Wallstreet & Tea Party), The Whistleblowers (2002) and ironically Peacemakers in 1993.  But Time has instead thought about giving the award to a group of people that are known for as much about looting rather than change in today’s society.


Would this be the worst choice?  Well, as it turns out You have won the award in 2006.  So, I’ll let you be the judge.  But it turns out you don’t even have to be  a person to win this award back in 1982 the winner was The Computer.  The Endangered Earth won back in 1988.  Time was probably wondering who to give the award too and decided to give it to a thing instead.  Has the computer won?  Back in 82 you say, fuck it will give it to the Earth.  Throw endangered in front of it.  Hell, why don’t we give Time Person of the year to Internet sensation Grumpy Cat.

What’s weird is the Computer has won, but neither Bill Gates or Steve Jobs has ever been “Person of the Year”.  However, Facebook founder Steve Zuckerberg has won.  I guess the fact that we can now stalk that person in Grade 10 Science that we never talked too is a great thing.  Oh, that and Candy Crush!  But the two people that helped pave the way for personal computing what did they ever do.

What’s got to hurt for Jobs is the fact that Tim Cook, Apple’s new CEO is the person that is in contention for “Person of the Year”.  Steve Jobs rebuilds the company from near bankruptcy to the most powerful IT company in the world and two years after his death, then TIME may decide to give the Apple CEO the title of Person of the Year.

My vote would be for Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, not because I know anything about Iran’s Supreme Leader but the fact that he is a Supreme Leader and his name is Ayatollah are the only reasons I need.

Also, for Person of the Year it has had a suprising lack of vaginas.  In the last 50+ years there has only been one woman former Phillipine president Corazon C. Aquino in 1986.  Oh sure the American Woman won but no single female person has won.  In fact, no single American woman has won the award.  You would be better off being a Ho.  David Ho, who was pioneered AIDS research and won the title back in 1996.

It’s time to change the rein of people, things and men and award the title to a female.  Make it about acceptance and positive change for the world.  Choose, female activist and Nobel Peace winner Malala Yousafzai.

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