Monthly Archives: July 2014

  • Turnpike Troubadours is a red-dirt country band.
  • I chose Turnpike Troubadours because today’s a long hot summer day.  A great song for sipping Ice Tea or beer.
  • In the Gin, Smoke, Lies video the guys talk about old school bluegrass and the guy is wearing a Wild Turkey hat.
  • The guys, especially in the song Before the Devil Knows We’re Dead, reminds me of old school Alabama and Charlie Daniels.
  • Everyone knows if you’re going to play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band.

    Long Hot Summer Day

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DUMB ASS:  Wu-Tang Clan Affiliate Cuts Off Wu-Tang Wang more; here, here, & here.

  • Alleged Wu-Tang Clang Affiliate,Andre Johnson aka Christ Bearer, Cuts Off Penis (Bobbit’s himself), Jumps off Balcony, Calls Himself a God.
  • Andre Johnson cut off his penis “without warning”, and had jumped within a “matter of seconds”.   I’m not sure how much warning you would give yourself prior to cutting off your own penis and hypothetically saying, if I did I probably would jump off a building within a matter of seconds.
  • In an interview with E! Online Christ Bearer said, “It still gets hard, the little bit that I got. I still got some penis that works.”
  • Also in the interview he refers to himself as a god.  “I cut it off because that was the root of all my problems. My solution to the problem was the realization that sex is for mortals, and I am a god…Those kinds of activities got me into trouble, and I came here to be a god.”  I didn’t read that part in the bible, if you are a god cut off your penis!  Must have missed that part of bible school
  • It was stated that Christ Bearer used a serrated steak knife to cut off his penis before jumping, he cut off the tip of his penis first, then removed his testicles and the remainder of his genitalia.  I’m guessing Christ Bearer didn’t fully understand the phrase, ‘just the tip’.
  • Then on the below rant he states he will do some porn.

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Click to Enlarge

  • Most websites have a “Click to Enlarge” option.  You can enlarge images or the font.
  • It would be cool if you could do that in real life.  Click to enlarge penis, not me just a guy I know, or boobs.
  • I think that it would be also better if we had the option to shrink things in real life like your ass or your stomach.

The Lineup

  • The Walmart in my area has one of those 1 – 12 item lines with 6 cash registers.
  • You wait in line until it’s your turn and then you go to the open cash register.
  • Everytime I get to the front of the line, I feel like the start of a race.
  • Hoping I don’t do a false start and go to the wrong register.

Wording Is Important

  • If I add another ‘p’ to hoping it becomes hopping I don’t do a false start.  I’m not jumping around not doing a false start.
  • It’s like this week.  We were thinking about getting a high school student to take care of our two boys after school because it is less expensive than after school daycare.
  • So we live in a neighbourhood that has a community mailbox, where people will post adds like, ‘piano lessons’ or whatever.  You know what I’m talking about I don’t need to elaborate.
  • But … just so you know it’s not a good idea to post a community add with the following verbiage, “Looking for a cheap high school student to take care of my two boys after school.”

Just Laugh

  • Parenting Tip; Every once in awhile when my kids are acting crazy.  I will just make a cheeky joke and then laugh.
  • Laugh for like 5 minutes straight a mixture of haha’s, hoho’s, hehe’s.
  • Until the kids can no longer take it and start laughing too.
  • Then everyone’s in a happy mood.
  • Relationship Tip; Do not try this with your significant other.
  • If you leave the toilet seat up and then tell her to cheeky joke like, “I thought your ass needed a wash!”
  • Laughing for 5 minutes straight will not make her laugh.

Other People’s Thoughts

  • Mitch Hedberg – , “Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool Opotasmus?”
  • Jim Gaffigan – You ever look for the remote control, but you can’t find it, so you just decide, “Ah, guess I’m not watching TV. I’m not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I’ll go to the gym if I’m going to work out.”
  • Zac Galifianakis – At what age do you think it’s appropriate to tell a highway it’s adopted?
  • Former member of the Drive-by-Truckers
  • Born Feb. 1, 1979
  • Married to Amanda Shires
  • Isbell has a tatoo with the lyrics from the Bob Dylan song Boots of Spanish Leather,  “Just carry yourself back to me unspoiled, from across that lonesome ocean.” on his left arm
  • Isbell plays the Phoenix theater tonight 7/15/2014 in Toronto click here for details.
  • Here are five songs from one of the most underrated artists today.
Alabama Pines
I’ve been stuck here in this town-
if you could call it that- a year or two…
I never do what I’m supposed to do- I don’t even need a name anymore…
When no one calls it out, it kind of vanishes away

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