FINE ASS: Thursday Thoughts

Click to Enlarge

  • Most websites have a “Click to Enlarge” option.  You can enlarge images or the font.
  • It would be cool if you could do that in real life.  Click to enlarge penis, not me just a guy I know, or boobs.
  • I think that it would be also better if we had the option to shrink things in real life like your ass or your stomach.

The Lineup

  • The Walmart in my area has one of those 1 – 12 item lines with 6 cash registers.
  • You wait in line until it’s your turn and then you go to the open cash register.
  • Everytime I get to the front of the line, I feel like the start of a race.
  • Hoping I don’t do a false start and go to the wrong register.

Wording Is Important

  • If I add another ‘p’ to hoping it becomes hopping I don’t do a false start.  I’m not jumping around not doing a false start.
  • It’s like this week.  We were thinking about getting a high school student to take care of our two boys after school because it is less expensive than after school daycare.
  • So we live in a neighbourhood that has a community mailbox, where people will post adds like, ‘piano lessons’ or whatever.  You know what I’m talking about I don’t need to elaborate.
  • But … just so you know it’s not a good idea to post a community add with the following verbiage, “Looking for a cheap high school student to take care of my two boys after school.”

Just Laugh

  • Parenting Tip; Every once in awhile when my kids are acting crazy.  I will just make a cheeky joke and then laugh.
  • Laugh for like 5 minutes straight a mixture of haha’s, hoho’s, hehe’s.
  • Until the kids can no longer take it and start laughing too.
  • Then everyone’s in a happy mood.
  • Relationship Tip; Do not try this with your significant other.
  • If you leave the toilet seat up and then tell her to cheeky joke like, “I thought your ass needed a wash!”
  • Laughing for 5 minutes straight will not make her laugh.

Other People’s Thoughts

  • Mitch Hedberg – , “Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool Opotasmus?”
  • Jim Gaffigan – You ever look for the remote control, but you can’t find it, so you just decide, “Ah, guess I’m not watching TV. I’m not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I’ll go to the gym if I’m going to work out.”
  • Zac Galifianakis – At what age do you think it’s appropriate to tell a highway it’s adopted?
 
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