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Monthly Archives: July 2014

Mexican Man, Frank Shelby, faces charges after authorities say a couple found him naked in their bed.  One report stated, Shelby, was an unwanted mystery guest.  Which sounds like a game show what’s in this mystery bed!

FreddyShelby

Doesn’t he kinda look like Russell Brand

Shelby told officers he thought he was at his girlfriend’s house, however police reports said he went in through the window.  So either he and his girlfriend have a relationship like Joey & Dawson (from Dawson’s Creek), his ‘girlfriend’ didn’t tell him where the keys were or the house number or perhaps him and his girlfriend aren’t together anymore.

Police had to rip the blankets off of a disrobed Shelby, who was in a deep sleep, to wake him up.  That had to have been awkward for everyone involved.  Watching a naked man with his twig and berries on your bed.  Have you ever had a friend of your roomate’s sleeping on your couch and then had to wake him up the next morning because you were missing SportsCenter?  It’s gotta be like that except well he broke into your house, and took a naked nap in your bed, but other than that totally the same.

So Shelby breaks in through the window.  Not sure if it was the bathroom window or not but it obviously reminds us of the Joe Cocker song.

Goes to the fridge and grabs a sprite (who drinks Sprite anymore) because apparently there wasn’t porridge.  Then goes to the master bedroom, which was probably too hot so he had to take his clothes of which made it … just right.  Then he takes a nap.  Remind us of any fairy tale, right Humpty Dumpty …

The story would have been perfect if when awoke Shelby would have uttered … “Hey your not the three bears!”

Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2014/07/30/new-mexico-couple-finds-naked-intruder-sleeping-in-their-bed/#ixzz38zU55ku1

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  • Model Pranksters were set out to find two homeless people. 
  • Have them Arm Wrestle for $100.
  • Now, I know what you’re thinking.  This is definitely exploitation of human’s that are down on their luck. 
  • So @ 1:50 the guy that never says anything.  Said, with a big smile on his face hey even the loser will get $50.  Like oh we are good people.
  • I don’t think ModelPrankster’s are horrible people.  I’ve watched some of their other Pranks and it’s not horrible, but the horrible play-by-play commentary of the arm wrestling is horrible.
  • What makes this must see is at the 2:25 mark where the winner of the arm wrestling match.  A man without a dime to his name.  Offers to give money to the other homeless ‘contestant’
  • Plus, this awesome line, ‘Feed the needy not the greedy.”
  • We as a society are desensitized towards the homeless.  
  • We yell at them and tell them to get a job. 
  • Like it’s easy for a person with no fixed address, no phone and I’m clothes that have neither been washed.
  • It seems here you have been living on the streets for the past two years.
  • Do you have any skills?  Oh you are able to communicate with Zuul.
  • Great, step right over here we have a position for you with our marketing department.
  • It’s tough for us to see them as human’s.

For ModelPrankster’s YouTube site visit here

This is Must Read Monday on Tuesday.

BAD ASS:  McDonald’s Crack Dealer

  • According to the article it mention’s Philadelphia’s swanky Main Line has led to the arrest of a fast food employee who police say was selling crack at the restaurant.  Not sure if I would ever consider McDonald’s to be swanky, but let’s move on …
  • The police say they were tipped of whenever, he would cover for the cash he would say, “would you like crack, er I mean fries with that?”
  • This is from the news report and you can look at it in the video below.  “When not working as a crew and preparing food, he was out in the rear parking lot selling crack cocaine so in a sense it can give you a new definition of what may be considered a Happy Meal,” Radnor Police Lt. Andy Block said.
  • I’m not sure, but I don’t see too many crack addicts that look “happy”, they look like they want to kill themselves, look like they are 100 years late for their dental and dermatology appointment.
  • Now, I’m sure the officer was thinking of a nice zinger all day.  But that happy meal comment made me Grimace.  Perhaps, the Crackburglar instead of Hamburglar would put a new spin on things.  Extra Crack with that, I’m loving it!

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FML

  • I hate #FML.
  • I hate when people post #FML on social media sites over reasons that don’t f’n matter.
  • The people that post #FML are doing it over stupid shit.
  • It’s never the people that have a reason to say #FML.  People that are incredibly sick (not just a cold), are on deaths bed or lost love ones.
  • No, people use #FML because the barista Starbucks got your double crapa llamma americana coffee order wrong.
  • The other day I had to drink instant coffee, because I was all out of normal coffee.
  • Instant coffee is shit, but I didn’t start running to the computer to update the world about my horrible life.
  • The He/She that posts these type of status updates has no idea what an actual #FML moment is.
  • I think if he/she gets a VD from a He-She then that, warrants a #FML Facebook/Twitter status update.
  • Not a wrong coffee order.  The fact that you can pay $5 for a shitty coffee, when a lot of people in the world don’t have clean water, does not mean that you have an #FML moment.
  • Then after you are done ordering your $5 coffee you have to put the cream and sugar in yourself.
  • If I’m paying $5 for a coffee, give me some entertainment, I want a monkey on a unicycle wearing a fedora putting the cream in my coffee.
  • Also, I don’t order a coffee from a profession (barrista) that I didn’t even know existed until two years ago.
  • While I’m on a Coffee rant
  • One thing that always drives me crazy was doing the coffee orders at work.
  • I won’t even go to Starbucks. That would drive me crazy I can’t pronounce most of the drinks.
  • But even going to Tim Horton’s it becomes a pain in the ass.  Because there’s always that one person.
  • That one person that orders something crazy.
  • I’ll have a large coffee, with one sugar, one sweetener and a nectar of honey from the queen bees nipple also one cream and a shot of milk from a mountain goat from Nepal.
  • Oh … Fuck My Life!
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